WEEK ONE: LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR

Everyone desires and wants to be a part of meaningful relationships, but true meaningful relationships are hard to come by. There have been many times that I believed I was in one of those types of relationships only to end up either being hurt or walking away disillusioned by the whole ordeal.

So what makes a relationship truly meaningful, and why are they so hard to find? Well, first we must come to terms with and understand that we were created by God for relationships—both relationship with him and relationships with others. If we don’t believe that, it will be very difficult to have meaningful relationships in our lives. Second, we must understand that those types of relationships don’t happen by accident. They must be intentional, and they will require work.

A meaningful relationship has been defined as one that is significant. It involves mutual respect, trust, and a sense of value. It requires honesty, communication, commonalities, boundaries, and equity.  That sounds overwhelming, doesn’t it? That is a lot to work out! Maybe a simpler way to explain it is this: meaningful relationships are ones where everyone involved has a sense of belonging, a sense that they matter, and that they are seen, heard, and appreciated.

Around Lifehouse we have often used the terminology that people want to be needed and known. To explain, we simply say that they want to be where people know their name and they want to be part of something bigger than themselves. That is a sense of belonging. That is significance. But it also means that we are willing to put others first. It means that we do what we can to be hospitable, but more importantly, it means that we are demonstrating God’s love to them and inviting them to know God’s love for themselves.

There is a quote from a post on Gottman.com from January 11, 2017 that I believe sums it up quite nicely: “We can’t control whether someone will respond to our bids (for relationships) but we can choose to reciprocate one. We can decide to respond kindly rather than antagonistically to one another. We can choose to value people rather than devalue them. We can invite people to belong. And when we do, not only will our lives feel more meaningful, but our relationships will be better too.”

Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” And 1 Peter 4:8 states, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." With those two verses in mind (as Jesus-followers), how can we not want (and be prepared to work for) meaningful relationships, especially with those around us?